Columbus, OH – August 5, 2009
Ah, the magic that is the Ohio State Fair. Where else can you buy a fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich, see a life-size butter statue of a cow being examined by a vet AND pet a llama? That’s right, NOWHERE.
Anyway, I spent most of the afternoon shouting in an awestruck voice to everyone in earshot, “They have FRIED [insert any food] here! How great is that!” For some reason, unlike most other people I know, the “I get it” switch in my head works on a huge delay. Sometimes this is good, like when you’re at the Ohio State Fair and you are repeatedly excited and surprised by the varieties of fried things they have, and you keep thinking “Wow, they have steak on a stick AND fried garlic mashed potatoes! On a stick! That’s so crazy!” But sometimes this is bad, like when you get off on the wrong floor of your apartment building and go to your apartment door and try to use your key which doesn’t work, and when did we get that welcome mat and what was up with those pots of flowers next door? But luckily for me, at the fair there was no need for me to explain to our downstairs neighbors that no, I was not trying to break into your apartment, and yes, I really am that clueless sometimes. Really.
Outside of the fair food, I’d have to say the best part of the fair was the games and the petting zoo. Yes, I said it. The petting zoo. Because I am really just a 10-year-old. They were selling food pellets and little plastic containers of carrots to feed the animals in the petting zoo, and I righteously refused to buy any food to overfeed animals that were being cooped up in little cages and forced to deal with grubby little hands grabbing their ears and horns all day. I wasn’t going to perpetuate this horrible practice! But then Chanary found a quarter in her purse, and I was standing next to the llama, offering it a handful of pellets. Its tongue tickled my hand.
We also won a few little stuffed animals from a balloon popping game. I think the game was rigged, because there was no way you could really lose, they puffed up the balloons so much. That was a nice departure from the normal, impossible-to-win carnival game. At one point Kevin and I were just standing around near a guy yelling in a mic for people to come up so he could guess their ages (we were waiting for Hadley and Chanary, who were buying some form of fried something), and he looked in our direction and shouted, “LITTLE GIRL WITH THE BEAR! I’LL GUESS YOUR AGE! YOU CAN WIN A PRIZE!” at which point I turned and looked all around me for the little girl with the stuffed bear and then realized that she. … Was me.
And did you know that there is such a thing as a PIG RACE? This also came as a big surprise to me, but I tried to hide it and pretend like I knew the whole time that of course there would be a pig race. I mean, it’s the Ohio State Fair, why on earth WOULDN’T there be a pig race, right? The thought is just laughable! But really, it was one of those things that was totally unexpected to me, and I laughed so hard in my head when Kevin looked at the time and said very seriously, “We should head over, we’re going to be late for the pig race.” It’s just not a sentence you can say at any other time. I wish it were though.
All in all, the four of us had a really really great time, especially me. There’s something about being at a fair and being surrounded by all those rides and games and fried things that just made me feel so happy and want to skip around. I highly recommend it.
Picture of the day: I call this piece “Self-explanatory”
Puzzles for Postcards
Solve This Anagram and Carry a Big Stick:
“An old folk relives one rant”
Zhou WPLB: 28; 367; 315; SENIlES
Kevin WPLB: 27; 368; 397; sETTINGS